Your personality. ALL HERE.

If U were born on the 1st, 10th, 19th, 28th of any month U r number 1….

If U were born on the 2nd, 11th, 20th, 29th of any month then U r number 2…

If U were born on the 3rd, 12th, 21st, 30th of any month then U r number 3…

If U were born on the 4th, 13th, 22nd, 31st of any month then U r number 4…

If U were born on the 5th, 14th, 23rd of any month then U r number 5…

If U were born on the 6th, 15th, 24th of any month then U r number 6…

If U were born on the 7th, 16th, 25th of any month then U r number 7…

If U were born on the 8th,17th,26th of any month then U r number 8…

If U were born on the 9th,18th,27th of any month then U r number 9

Number 1

You are smart, straight talking, funny, stubborn, hardworking, honest,Jealous on competing basis, kind hearted, angry, friendly, authorities, Famous person… always want to be and regarded as first on people position, they are often like to be independent, will never be under others, self confident people!

You are most likely to fall in love in the younger age, but will get marry when you mature! You are likely to have problems with people who have opposite views

And you are most likely to take revenge over your enemies in a long time basis. You are a spender, but you will have a good profession in the future.

If you are guy you will be very popular that everybody will have mental attraction and respect at you. You can go anywhere from the local shop to the heart of the parliament because you are positive and well talented in numerous issues!! But in your life you will always have some people who will work hard to bring you & your name down. This is undercover!! Coz of your smart behavior you will be hated by some people too…

Your family life is very cool, you will have a very nice partner & wonderful children… You are pioneer, independent & original…

Your best match is 4,6,8 good match is 3,5,7 !!!

Number 2

No matter what, you will be loved by every one coz your ruler is the moon and every one loves the Moon. Well.. You are a person who day dream a lot, you have very low-self confidence, you need back up for every move in your life, you are very much unpredictable. Means you do change according to time and circumstances, kind a selfish, have a very strong sense of musical, artistic talent, verbal communication.

Your attitudes are like the Moon, comes to gloom and fade away so everybody can expect changes in you. You can be a next Mahatma Gandhi who does peace love or you can be a Hitler who wants to destroy the man kind and peace (I mean in the community and your own home).

If you really have a deep thought about your own believe in God you can feel the difference which will make you stronger! Most of the time your words are a kind of would be happening true! So without any knowledge you can predict the situation. You will become poets, writers, any Artistic business people!

You are not strong in love, so you will be there and here till you get marry.. If U r a girl you will be a responsible woman in the whole family. If U r a man you will involve in fights & arguments in the family or Vice-versa. Means you will sacrifice your life for the goodness sake of Your family…You are gentle , intuitive with a broad vision, a power behind the scenes, well balanced People!!!

Your best match is 2 ,5 ,9 no other people can put up with you !!!

Number 3

You are a person of hard hearted, selfish most of the times, religious, loves to climb up in your life. You always tend to have lots of problems within your family in the early stages but you will put up with everything.. You have the strong word power, pretty happy face.. So wherever you go always you have got what you wanted!!! And from the birth always wanted to work hard in order to achieve something.. You will not get anything without hardwork! When you reach a man/ woman age you want other younger once to listen to you because you want younger people to respect people older than them. You do set so many examples to others.

Generally you are not a cool person. It’s not easy thing dealing with you. A tough player you are! But once you like someone’s attitude then here you go, what can I say? It will be a lasting friendship. You always have respect from others.

Your life seems to have lots of worries and problems but sure they won’t be long.. you will always have brilliant kids!!! You love the money a bit too much so temptation will push you to endless trying and trying.. If you are a guy then it’s over. Looking after your family and help friends, so you will spend a life time just being generous and kind (except 21st born men). And number 3s you will

be such an example of how to be in the culture & life!!! If you are girl then you have good character and culture & hardworking attitude. You always follow.

You are a freedom lover, creative, ambition focused, a person who brings beauty , hope & joy to this world!!!

Your best match 6 ,9. Good match 1 ,3 ,5 !!!

Number 4

You are very stubborn too, very hard working but unlucky in important matters in life, very cool, helpful, you have rough word power.. Might put lots of people away from you, you may cause nuisance to others if you are a man, and you often understands others and their problems well. If you are a girl you are very good with studies and arts. If you are a guy you spend most of the time after girl friends (almost) at times, you will have sort of too much fun life with mates & girls. Your friends will spend your time & money and get away with their life and you will become empty handed and don’t know what to do… So be careful!! You love to spend anyway!!!

Your good will is you are always there to help family and friends. Tell you what you people are little gem! s, specially the girls.. You always fall in love in younger age as well. You often live with disappointments, for an example you have got a degree in some thing… but you will be unemployed.. or will do very ordinary jobs.

But you will take care of your family very well…All you need to be careful of people who will take advantage of your kind heart. And beware of your relations too..

You are radical, patient, persistent,a bit old-fashioned, you live with foundation & order…

Your best Match 1, 8. Good match 5 ,6 , 7 !!!

Number 5

You are very popular within the community, you can get things done by just chatting..to even enemies! You have a pretty good business mind, you are often have no-idea what is today is like, or tomorrow is like, you are a person who does anything when your head thinks “lets do this”. You will be famous if you open up a business, get involve in share dealings, music etc.. Very popular with sense of humor ,you are the one your friends and families will always ask for help, and you are the one actually get money on credit and help your friends. You will have more than 1 relationship, but when u get settle down you will be a bit selfish anyway. Coz your other half will have a pretty good amount of control in you, be careful! You tend to go for other relationships! Contacts even you are married at times ‘coz your popularity..

You are someone who get along with anyone coz the number 5 is the middle number.. Changes & freedom lovers you are! You are an explorer with magic on your face. You learn your life through experience and it’s your best teacher!!!

Your best match 1 ,2 ,9. Good match 6 ,8 !!!

Number 6

Ooopppss..you are born to enjoy.. You don’t care about others. I mean you are always want to enjoy your life time, you are a person.. You will be very good in either education or work wise or business management! You are talented, kind (but with only people who you think are nice), very beautiful girls and guys, popular and more than lucky with anything in your lives. All the goodness does come with you. Your mind and body is just made perfect for love.

You are lovable by any other numbers. But if you are a number 6 man, you will experience kind of looks from most girls and will involve in more than few relationships until you get married. If you are girl, most of you will get marry/engaged early. You are a caring person towards your family & friends .

If you miss the half-way mark then you are about to suffer physically and mentally. Generally you will lead a very good inner-home happiness with nothing short of. You are a person of compassion, comfort & fairness, domestic responsibility, good judgment, and after all you can heal this world wounds to make peace for every life coz you have the great power of caring talent to make this world of love one step further…

Your best match 1, 6, 9. Good match 4, 5 !!!

Number 7

You have got the attraction to anyone out there, you are realistic, very confident, happy, such a talented individual with your education, music, arts, singing, and most importantly acting too. You have real problems with bad temper! If you are a girl, you are popular with the subjects listed above.

You give up things for your parents. I mean you value your family status a lot, you will be in the top rank when you reach a certain age. If you are a guy you are popular with girls, you are a very talented too. Most of the number 7s face lots of problems with their marriage life.

Only a very few are happy. You have everything in your life, but still always number 7s have some sort of unfullfilness, such worries all their lifetime.

It’s probably the Lord given you all sort of over the standard humans talents and you are about to suffer in family life. So you need to get ready looking for a partner rather than waiting. If you don’t, then you might end-up single. So take care with this issue, ok?

You are wonderful, friendly, artistic, happy person.. You are born to contribute lots to this world!!!

Your best match is 2. Good matches are 1,4 !!!

Number 8

You are a very strong personality, there’s no one out there will understand you. You are very good at pointing your finger at some thing and say “this is what”.

You are more likely to suffer from the early ages. I mean poverty. If your times are not good you might lose either of your parent and end up looking after your entire family. You often suffer all the way in life.

The problems will not allow you to study further, but you will learn the life in a very practical way. You are the one who will fight for justice and may die in the war too. You are normally very reserved with handful of friends and most of the time live life lonely and always prepared to help others.

Well. once you get married (which is often late) then your bad lucks will go away a bit and you! u become safe. You will face un-expected problems such as :

the error, government, poisonous animals, accidents.

You are some one with great discipline, persistence, courage, strength which will take you to success. You are a great part of a family team. You are a fighter!

Your Best match 1 ,4, 8. Good match 5 !!!

Number 9

Hey…you guys are the incompatibles people in the world. You are so strong, physically and mentally… You are often have big-aims. You will work hard and hard to get there. Normally you suffer in the early age from family problems and generally you will have fighting life.. But when you achieve what you have done, it’s always a big task you have done! You are so much respected in the community, you are a person who can make a challenge and successfully finish the matter off.

You are very naughty in your younger age, often beaten up by your parents and involve in fights and you seemed to have lots of injuries in your life time. But when u grow you become calm and macho type.

Love is not an easy matter for you. You are good in engineering or banking jobs coz people always trust you.

Your family life is very good, but will have worries over your children.

Your such qualities are humanitarian, patient, very wise & compassionate.

You are born to achieve targets and serve every one all equally without any prejudice.

You are totally a role model to anybody in the world for a great inspiration.

Your Best match 3, 5, 6, 9. Good match 2

"Leave." - A poem by Felixia Yeap

Leave.

Looking for a place to run to

somewhere to go

yet I have no clue

or anyone I know

I could cry my eyes out

like how I used to do

cry til I'm knocked out

til all the songs are sung blue

Leave; the easiest choice

Could not bear another tear drop

unheard, inaudible is my voice

from one to another edge, I hop

I've been travelling so long and far

for a final stop like this

as I began to unwrap my scars

I see scars, yet you see memories

Sealing up, packing away

before I could drop my baggage down 

gonna walk on the rest of the days

until my legs are numb to the ground

- Felixia Yeap -

Past. Present. Future.

PAST...

A lot of people are starting to ask me to take down my Facebook cover photo and delete all those photos of me that were more sexually inclined.

As I have posted previously in my Facebook...it would be a NO.

Why?

First of all, those are my achievements of my career as a model who made it international besides local...especially as Playboy Bunny and Playboy Model. 

How could I have the heart to delete everything that I have worked soooo hard for past 8 years, that I have to suffer for, for every achievement that have made me known as who I am today. 

Those pictures serve as a story behind the Felixia Yeap now. 

A lesson to be learnt by all.

Also to remind myself why I chose to be covered up.

Why I did a 180 degrees of change.

Deleting them would most likely mean to deny my past, and that would probably spark another issue by people who think I am trying to lie to myself and hide people from the truth of my past.

Humans...People...Society...

You could never please them no matter what you do.

I could not please everyone. 

All I could do is be myself, be true to myself...be honest, be sincere...learn from the past, and head for a better future.

Whether or not people would be judgemental and sceptical about my actions and decisions.

Besides, even if I have the heart to delete all those pictures from my Facebook...there would still be plenty more in Google and everywhere else in the world. 

What is the next step then?

Ask Google and everyone else who has my photos to delete them as well?

I was (and still am) proud of my achievements in modelling scene...but I was just not happy in the depth of my heart and soul as a person behind the working environment and who it required me to be and what it required me to do.

Thus my decision.

PRESENT...

The Felixia Yeap now...is still in the midst of transition...still learning and just starting to berjinak-jinak with muslimah styles and fashion besides trying to understand, learn more and dig deeper about its religion that is giving me more and more peace.

It is not the easiest procedure...but with your understanding of me as a professional model and me personally as my true and most comfortable self...and still being both at the SAME time for now until all my past contracts are over and done with, insyaAllah...my path will be smoother. 

So...please let me take my time. It took me almost decade to finally decide on wanting and insisting to cover up my aurat and even hair, the moment I put my first picture in Facebook and blog with a Hijab on a few months back, I know I am heading to a better path in life. 

I am regaining my sacrificed dignity (during work) as a respected woman who is not just another pretty face with a hot body.

I found my peace.

I am much happier now and I feel more at peace each time I cover my aurat, and put on my hijab.

I think thats all that matter.

FUTURE...

I could not predict the future...no one's future is ever guaranteed...

But I am definitely going to keep wearing hijab and muslimah clothing, since I feel more and more reluctant with exposing my naked skin or hair in public area.

For my modeling career, of course I would very much prefer Muslimah stream of modeling assignments that would cover up my body, and best of all, would let me wear my hijab and be myself...

I would rather get less income than to make myself feeling exploited and unhappy again.

After all...duit tu bukannya boleh cari sampai habis pun, kan?

Janji hati tenang.

So...I am really grateful for all those Muslimah boutiques that are offering me to be their model. 

Thank you so, so, so much.

And I would like to start my own little business to cover up all those modelling jobs which I have rejected due to my preference of not wanting to be sexy and exposed anymore, and also later on, hopefully soon, start my charity projects too.

Everything is still pretty much in planning stage, and I am trying to save up some capital to kick them off. 

Keep reading and checking my blog and Facebook fan page.

InsyaAllah...I would have some good news coming in. =)

Salam.

Dilemma in the midst of transition

People are sceptical.

Judgemental.

Uncomfortable.

Confused.

I understand...

I, too, am stuck in two worlds...between being myself at my own free time...and being someone else at work, for work.

I am still doing my modelling jobs. No doubt. 

For this is still the main source of income that I am bringing home to my family in Ipoh.

Of course, I am truly grateful for the good reception and support coming from not just people in my Facebook and my blog followers, and especially from Muslimah boutiques that are opening and offering jobs to help me leave my not so decently dressed modelling gigs.

But, please bear in mind...please understand...I am not in any way trying to make fun or ridicule any religion or race. I am truly sincere.

I want to be veiled and be in my hijabs and baju kurungs more than any of you could imagine.

Yet, some of these upcoming gigs of me in modeling gigs that require me to be more provocatively dressed have been planned since some time ago, and it's already agreed upon on waaaaaay before I post my confessional blog write up about me wearing my hijab previously.

So...as a professional model/person...it is my duty to finish up my work that had been agreed upon before.

I am sorry if I hurt anyone's feeling...and if I let anyone down, because this one time of me trying to be professional to complete an assignment.

Please don't be too quick to judge. 

Please understand first.

Please put yourself in my shoes.

I am too, anticipating and looking forward for better and modest modelling gigs...

...but for this most probably last job dressing up as a Playboy Bunny, I would need to complete it professionally as a model, and Malaysia's first and only official Playboy Bunny.

Thank you, and I appreciate your understanding.

LEFT : Me at work, for work purpose only

RIGHT : My true self when I am not working

READ MORE AT :http://felixiayeap.blogspot.com/2013/12/past-present-future.html

Quiet nights (a poem by Felixia)

Quiet nights

When nights are quiet

And lonely

I think, I wander

thoroughly in my mind

Thoughts in a riot

I cry, sadly

like a rainy weather

What would I find?

The path I take

to where it leads?

I ask over and over

again

is my heart at stake?

in prayers I read

let not it suffer

in pain

- Felixia Yeap -

The truth behind my hijab.

Yes, I was a Playboy Bunny (and sometimes, every now and then, still get imported out of the country for appearances at Playboy official events and happenings all over the world)...

I posed for Playboy Philippines magazine before (but not naked), which made me the THIRD Malaysian woman ever to be posing for Playboy magazine after beauty queen Jacinta Lee in 1986, and top model Amber Chia in 2006...

....and besides Playboy...I model for car shows in racy race queen outfits...

....appeared front cover and featured in FHMs both local and foreign...

...done shoots in lingerie, bikinis and attires that are not exactly meant to protect my modesty...

...and I think I probably am considered or publicly categorized as one of the "hot and sexy" models in Malaysia...

...but really, all these achievements got me thinking of a woman's worth.

I believe I am more worthy than showing off my body.

I am MORE than this.

And I don't feel proud if any of those attention or fame seeking model wannabes out there look at me as idol or role model.

I don't want you to be blaming me when your career is pretty much done and you feel empty, used, lost and hollow after all those exposures and exploitations.

Honestly speaking...I am doing quite well in managing my modelling career besides having a portfolio that includes international exposures and recognitions...

....but I am slowing down, slowly.

I yearn for more to life than this.

I KNOW there is more to life than this.

And honestly, I had never asked for fame, dramas, marrying some rich guy and brag about wealth and all...

NO...

I was really just passionate about posing in front of camera and strutting down the runway.

Yeah...I do admit I like bags, cars and jewelries...but I don't ask for much, and I am never a collector or trend chasing kinda girl...I am happy enough to own one Chanel classic bag that I used years to save up for (which is a vintage, by the way, not brand new)...and that's all...I am sated...any extra Chanel bags would be an extra blessing...

I am happy enough to able to own a car on my own... (which is slowly breaking down, and I am the third hand owner of)...

I am even happy enough to be able to stay in a studio unit of less than 500sqft which I am moving in, soon...

And due to my career as a model...I got used and played by men who only look for fun instead of a wife for marriage...I crumbled times, after times...I picked up myself just to crumble all over again...

Why??

Because I was never the one looking for fun when I fall in love, or when I allow myself to fall in love...despite of my image and how I look and how people assume me as.

Because of the way I was always portrayed for work purposes, people assume that I am a party person who drinks, smokes and do casual sex.

Which I strictly DON'T.

I have always been someone who believes in happily-ever-after and that one true love who would be my hero 'til-death-do-us-part-and-beyond, protector, guidance, a great father of my future child, a husband to a beautiful, loving marriage and most importantly, love me enough to take me away from all these nightmares that are repeating themselves...

I was naive...and unfortunately I still am.

And then, I started to look for something deeper...a religion, a God, a better way of living life.

I wanted to cover myself up more...be respected and known for who I am inside...not for how much flesh I am showing outside...

I fell in love with traditional Malay baju kurungs due to the fact that they are really comfortable to wear...and the first time I put on a hijab was when I went for local telco company TVC casting...

...and I looked at myself, and I feel liberated...I feel so happy and protected...I feel safe...

...and it almost made me cry when I looked into the mirror with that very blue little hijab.

I feel special, and deserving.

And then during Hari Raya this year, I was modeling for a Muslimah boutique fashion show...and I was so happy to be able to cover up myself and put on the hijab again...

Then secretly I realized...that I actually longed for it.

As much as I am proud of my modeling portfolio and achievements both local and international...I am also proud that I am insaf, peaceful and more toned down now.

That I am heading towards a better way of living life.

Like every human beings, I like beautiful things in life. 

If a religion could show me the beauty of life and living, why not try to understand it? Why detest it just because a few confused racists and extremists try to twist things around? 

Are they in the religion to begin with?

Are they rightful enough or greater themselves to judge another human being?

Well...unless they are Gods. 

Which...based on how they curse, insult and behave...I wouldn't think so. 

They are the ones who make this religion that I am trying to learn and understand look more beautiful and peaceful.

And...I feel sorry and fear for what their religions have taught them.

Yet, I am also really happy to be able to inspire people, make them analyse themselves and remind them of their religions...at least, in the path of trying to learn something good and be a better person, I actually did something good to the society too. 

On the side note, recently I started practising a pescetarian diet and way of eating too...because I want to stop eating meat of other living beings...although I still keep a minimal intake of fish and seafood in my diet.

I guess I feel much better, and more of myself now.

Long gone are those days when I was bleached blonde, always sexy and wild looking, and trying to blend in with the rest of the modeling crowd. That was never really who I am.

That's me running around feeling lost and looking for the wrong people to be with.

Now, if people think I am weird to be a non-Muslim model covering herself up, so be it.

Because in the end of the day, I would be the one answering to the consequences of my life, and not any of those people who can't accept me.

And in the end of the day, I would be the one answering to my God, whichever religion I choose to commit to, by then.

TO BE CONTINUED IN : Dilemma in the midst of transition!

ALSO, DON'T FORGET TO READ MORE : Past. Present. Future

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