Sunday, December 8, 2013

The truth behind my hijab.


Yes, I was a Playboy Bunny (and sometimes, every now and then, still get imported out of the country for appearances at Playboy official events and happenings all over the world)...






I posed for Playboy Philippines magazine before (but not naked), which made me the THIRD Malaysian woman ever to be posing for Playboy magazine after beauty queen Jacinta Lee in 1986, and top model Amber Chia in 2006...



....and besides Playboy...I model for car shows in racy race queen outfits...



....appeared front cover and featured in FHMs both local and foreign...



...done shoots in lingerie, bikinis and attires that are not exactly meant to protect my modesty...

...and I think I probably am considered or publicly categorized as one of the "hot and sexy" models in Malaysia...

...but really, all these achievements got me thinking of a woman's worth.

I believe I am more worthy than showing off my body.

I am MORE than this.

And I don't feel proud if any of those attention or fame seeking model wannabes out there look at me as idol or role model.

I don't want you to be blaming me when your career is pretty much done and you feel empty, used, lost and hollow after all those exposures and exploitations.

Honestly speaking...I am doing quite well in managing my modelling career besides having a portfolio that includes international exposures and recognitions...

....but I am slowing down, slowly.

I yearn for more to life than this.

I KNOW there is more to life than this.

And honestly, I had never asked for fame, dramas, marrying some rich guy and brag about wealth and all...

NO...

I was really just passionate about posing in front of camera and strutting down the runway.

Yeah...I do admit I like bags, cars and jewelries...but I don't ask for much, and I am never a collector or trend chasing kinda girl...I am happy enough to own one Chanel classic bag that I used years to save up for (which is a vintage, by the way, not brand new)...and that's all...I am sated...any extra Chanel bags would be an extra blessing...

I am happy enough to able to own a car on my own... (which is slowly breaking down, and I am the third hand owner of)...

I am even happy enough to be able to stay in a studio unit of less than 500sqft which I am moving in, soon...

And due to my career as a model...I got used and played by men who only look for fun instead of a wife for marriage...I crumbled times, after times...I picked up myself just to crumble all over again...

Why??

Because I was never the one looking for fun when I fall in love, or when I allow myself to fall in love...despite of my image and how I look and how people assume me as.

Because of the way I was always portrayed for work purposes, people assume that I am a party person who drinks, smokes and do casual sex.

Which I strictly DON'T.

I have always been someone who believes in happily-ever-after and that one true love who would be my hero 'til-death-do-us-part-and-beyond, protector, guidance, a great father of my future child, a husband to a beautiful, loving marriage and most importantly, love me enough to take me away from all these nightmares that are repeating themselves...

I was naive...and unfortunately I still am.

And then, I started to look for something deeper...a religion, a God, a better way of living life.

I wanted to cover myself up more...be respected and known for who I am inside...not for how much flesh I am showing outside...

I fell in love with traditional Malay baju kurungs due to the fact that they are really comfortable to wear...and the first time I put on a hijab was when I went for local telco company TVC casting...

...and I looked at myself, and I feel liberated...I feel so happy and protected...I feel safe...



...and it almost made me cry when I looked into the mirror with that very blue little hijab.

I feel special, and deserving.

And then during Hari Raya this year, I was modeling for a Muslimah boutique fashion show...and I was so happy to be able to cover up myself and put on the hijab again...

Then secretly I realized...that I actually longed for it.




As much as I am proud of my modeling portfolio and achievements both local and international...I am also proud that I am insaf, peaceful and more toned down now.

That I am heading towards a better way of living life.




Like every human beings, I like beautiful things in life. 
If a religion could show me the beauty of life and living, why not try to understand it? Why detest it just because a few confused racists and extremists try to twist things around? 
Are they in the religion to begin with?

Are they rightful enough or greater themselves to judge another human being?

Well...unless they are Gods. 
Which...based on how they curse, insult and behave...I wouldn't think so. 
They are the ones who make this religion that I am trying to learn and understand look more beautiful and peaceful.
And...I feel sorry and fear for what their religions have taught them.

Yet, I am also really happy to be able to inspire people, make them analyse themselves and remind them of their religions...at least, in the path of trying to learn something good and be a better person, I actually did something good to the society too. 

On the side note, recently I started practising a pescetarian diet and way of eating too...because I want to stop eating meat of other living beings...although I still keep a minimal intake of fish and seafood in my diet.

I guess I feel much better, and more of myself now.




Long gone are those days when I was bleached blonde, always sexy and wild looking, and trying to blend in with the rest of the modeling crowd. That was never really who I am.

That's me running around feeling lost and looking for the wrong people to be with.

Now, if people think I am weird to be a non-Muslim model covering herself up, so be it.

Because in the end of the day, I would be the one answering to the consequences of my life, and not any of those people who can't accept me.

And in the end of the day, I would be the one answering to my God, whichever religion I choose to commit to, by then.




ALSO, DON'T FORGET TO READ MORE : Past. Present. Future


293 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Hi Miss Felixia, please help to remove all your pics before wearing hijab.
      It is good to wear a hijab, because in Islam, it is written in Al Quran in surah An Nur.
      Wallahu A'lam.

      please seek more about Islam from the correct. Al Quran and al hadith is the best.
      Twitter Dr Zakir Naik also one of the good source. Jzkk. Thanks.

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    2. but brother lukman its not like she muslim.... shes a non muslim who wear hijab... she can be who ever she wanted to be, but as for now shes not muslim.. for me its rude to suddenly stuffed her up with our islamic view while shes not yet a muslim... shes already did a great job for being able to understand the value of islam while sadly at the moment our own kind lacking it. but to be feed up her post to seems like shes already a muslim is just wrong.. shes has her own opinions and all we can do is hoping the best that shes choose what really worth believing for.. ;)

      for felicia its an honor for me to see a non muslim girls to be able to adept more then much of my own fellow race could.. keep it up.. blessing from me on your journey... fight for what you believe in...

      Cause in the end of the day... its what you choose to be is going to be what you really are.. Im smiling right now since ive been following you since 2010 and to see what you do its like a journey... not only for you.. but for us too as supporter ;)

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    3. Please mind your words. It is not up to you or any of us to decide whether she's a muslim or not. Faith is something you can't see. It's unseen (ghaib). Don't act like Allah. It's Allah's prerogative to decide on one's faith.

      The most you can do is to support and guide. So please do not give non-muslims bad impression about Islam based on your words and acts.

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    5. i agrees that this would be her first step towards becoming a truly beautiful person. but to be better she should stop here. her attire and deeds should also reflect into how she looked at life. to be or not to be a muslim is her decision alone. but remember that there many people out there whom are actually practicing islamic values without they even knowing it. unfortunately many muslim are doing the opposite both help and guidance ... an approach like dr zakir naik is possible if they want to change and change willingly. in islam there are no forced converts.

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    6. Luqman is the very same kind of people described by her , "Are they rightful enough or greater themselves to judge another human being?" . this is the kind of people who are thinking that they are better than anyone else, racist to the core. Let her be, it is people like luqman is the one that give bad name to their race and religion.

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    7. Very Beautiful !!

      Kami menjemput semua blogger Ping di PingBlog.Net,Skrip agregator terkini dengan ping sangat mudah kerana auto description dan juga auto image.Artikel anda akan dipost pada twitter dan 294 fanpage serta group facebook.Kualiti Backlink,dan highkan rank blog anda

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    8. Assalamualaikum everyone,

      Firstly, just want to make it clear, that this is my personal opinion. You may read it and agree with it or not. The choice is yours. :)

      Just want to say that we should just relax a bit. Don't get too heated up.
      Lets be happy that a fellow human being, a person and a sister has decided that she wants to dress modestly, to wear a hijab and to look more respectful (from what i read in her post).

      Let's be grateful that she decided to take steps to better herself, even if its slow, but surely and most importantly, of her own accord.

      Like she said, she is still learning.
      If she decides to embrace Islam in the future, In Shaa Allah (God's Willing).
      Let's us just say Alhamdulillah (Praise to God) and keep encouraging her.

      But if she doesn't, then so be it. It is her life, she has to decide for herself.

      Well, I am a Muslim and i am far from perfect, but I just want to say that i already respect you Miss Yeap. Not many can do what you did. :)

      Continue on your journey, In Shaa Allah you will know what to do or what you want to do.

      You look very beautiful in a hijab by the way.

      Waalaikumsalam.

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    10. Assalamualaikum.
      My dear brothers and sisters of Islam, I just wanted to say that none of us are in the position to judge another human being, another creation and that only The Creator knows what is in every heart.
      Kak Felixia, I can’t tell you exactly and accurately what Islam is and neither can many because we too are far from perfect even though we may have the right intentions. Our ways may be different but nonetheless, I would like to encourage you to continue on your journey of searching for the truth.
      Who knows, maybe one day you will find that something you’ve been longing for. Whatever it is kak, follow your heart and do it because it speaks to you giving you your inner peace. May you be guided. :’)

      Wassalam.

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    11. Why ?

      Why does every time a Non-Muslim brother or sister wishes to bring themselves closer to Haq, the first thing we ALWAYS have to mention is the colour of their hair, the dress they chose to wear ?

      They ARE NOT obliged to adhere to the religion, she's not even a Muslim, even if she is, do you expect a baby to hit the ground running immediately after given birth to ? Adoi. Us Muslims should really stop with this shooting ourselves on the foot attitude.

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  2. felixia yeap..sy dah lme follow blog anda..suke membacanya dan pling suke part hijab ni..sy doakan anda trus tabah dlm mencari perubhan diri..suke tgk felixia yg skrng..lbh sejuk mata memandang

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  3. Hi Felixia,

    I'm Nabilah. I am a muslim. I started wearing hijab last year and I agree, hijab makes me feel safe, more than anything else. The more I cover, the more I feel safe, even in the most dangerous place, I feel safe. I'm glad to find someone who knows how it feels. :)

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  4. As a guy, really, I have nothing to critics but, seven letters - R.E.S.P.E.C.T

    Even as a Chinese myself, I agreed that no point being so racist to other religion just because of a couple of ruling idiots and a mass number of stupid people doing stupid things and eding up in a permanently stupid situation. Aside from that, I believe most religion teaches people to be serene, mannerable and respectful towards each other.

    As a woman you, it's really courageous for you to stand on your own and brave through all the guy-relationshit thing found your inner serenity. God is good Felixia. Peace (Y)

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  5. "How can I sign Hijab Ban Law," says Italian Minister, "when we see all the pictures of Mary wearing the exact same thing?

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  6. I am proud of you. You loves hijab more than some existing Muslim women in Malaysia today. I'm not saying that they're bad but it would be great if they could cherished it like you did.
    You have my respect and support Miss Felixia. - Ijan Sabri -

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  7. I'm really touched with your writing here Felixia. Not gonna lie I've unfollowed you from FB (there's a reason why) but still following your blog now and then. I'm impressed with you changing your life little by little. Do it as a free will not by force by anyone, then you'll find the beauty of it. And hopefully if you happen to convert to Islam in the future hopefully you can delete all those pics that you've taken and post it on FB, just for the sake of yourself modesty. You deserve better then this sister, have a great Monday God bless :)

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  8. InsyaAllah. Slowly u will find ur peace =) Follow what ur heart say and not what ur mind think. God give us signs in many way. Sometimes we do want some things so bad but its seems very hard to get it. Its because Allah/God know what the best for us. It just sometimes we are so blind by greed and we just ignore those sign. In the end, even when we get what that we pursuit so much, we end up unhappy. Unsatisfied. The world taught us to pursuit money. Actually, the one we must pursuit is happiness which come in so many way. Listen to ur heart and ask Allah/God to lead ur way =)

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  9. You're a very strong and brave girl Felixia. For that, you've earned a lot of people's respect for being true to yourself. Keep it up ! I'm sure all your TRUE fans will support you all the way ! People will now begin to realise and look at your other skills and talents than just your physical beauty. You're worth more than that. You can now still be a model .... a role-model for women to be themselves, and not what other people expect them to be. Congratulations !

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  10. you're a strong-willed woman, i trust :)
    may God bless you Felixia. Nice to meet you :)

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  11. You look pretty in hijab and it match with you. I'm happy with your changes. Not all muslim girl like to wear hijab but you like to wear it. You earn my respect. You will find your peace and your happiness. Don't care what people gonna say and just trust with yourself what you doing. Looking forward to see you wear hijab always. :)

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  12. you earn my respect felixia. wish you all the best that life could offer. may god bless you.

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  13. but i feel uncomfortable without hijab. it doesn't matter what or how people will look at you. most importantly, we improve our self to be better and be a good one. always be positive, throw away those worries because no matter what happen, God be with us and also there will be true one who will stay with you...those who able to accept you with open heart, open mind. I myself been going through this kind of life before. Thankfully IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, MOST GRACIOUS, MOST MERCIFUL, He has show me the ways .... i am happy with this path today and in shaa allah until my last breathe :')

    I am even happier when my family could accept me. They don't mind when i going out public with them in hijab,

    Anyway, i know you can, sis :)

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  14. Smiling my way scrolling down and viewing your words and pics. Deep and meaningful post. :) learn and never stop. Respect.

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  15. I love your opinion up there Felixia, I wish you all the best in finding your solace :) You're a strong girl, and you know what defines you.

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  16. dear Felixia, you have my RESPECT, I as a muslim know many of my friend that don't like to wear hijab but you as a non-muslim love to wear them. I will always support you.

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  17. you choose god and He surely protect you :)

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  18. Respect and hopefully you can follow the light as you already found it!

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  19. R.E.S.P.E.C.T

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWsXlBUizTg

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  20. Without you knowing, you have inspired so many people. Keep doing what you feel is right, heart doesn't lie :) You are worth more than your physical beauty, you are definitely a beauty with brain, have people respect your for that girl! <3

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  21. MashaAllah. Bashfulness is one branch of faith because Allah loves bashfulness.

    Felixia Yeap please read up on this and may Allah gives you wisdom. InshaAllah.

    http://abdurrahman.org/women/

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  22. Dear Felixia, I'm very proud with you even without you posting this blog. From the very first time I laid my eyes on you (your pictures) I became attract to you. Not because of how sexy you are but I notice there's a dim light coming from you. I became curious then, maybe its an effect from the picture I thought but overtime I kept seeing it even from the picture you taken using your phone.

    So I followed your blog and FB. The more I read about you, learnt about you the more attracted I am to you. It ease me from worries and fatigue just by looking at you pictures and read your post of the day. Your passion in front of the camera does not only makes you happy but also to nobody like me.

    I was very happy the moment I saw your picture wearing baju kurung and then hijab. It really suits you and you don't need to be a Muslim or Malay to wear them. What important is that your nawaitu (niat) is sincere, that alone will make you beautiful.

    Felixia, noone can force you to do what and what not. Everything in life must be decide by oneself. The same in religion, us Muslim can never/should never force you to be one. Learn about the religion; any religion sincerely with an open heart and of course from a proper source. Take them independently and at the end of that journey you have to decide if its the one what you've been searching for.

    I'm sorry for occupying too much of your blog space. I have no bad intention whatsoever except of expressing how grateful I am that I found you (literally) and able to know you. Also sorry for the bad English, I'm not good with words as I am more of a listener and not a talker. I wish you well in your journey and please remember there are people out there who's following and supporting you even though they are just stranger to you (like me).

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    Replies
    1. Hi there Felixia! You look absolutely beautiful and cute in the hijab pics. I wish you all the very best. Since you are a Malaysian and a Chinese, if you are interested in learning about Islam, do check out Sh. Hussain Yee, who is a Malaysian Chinese convert to Islam. His organisation is called al-Khaadem and he is based in Petaling Jaya. It is very easy to visit and see him, sometimes without even an appointment! He is quite famous and you can find thousands of his videos on Youtube. I wish you all the very best. May Allah guide you ameen! Ni Hen Piao Liang :)

      Take care,
      a Pakistani Man

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  23. Please dont stop discovering the beauty of Islam.
    It's the way of life :)
    Loving the way you dress up now ♥♥♥♥

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  24. "And in the end of the day, I would be the one answering to my God, whichever religion I choose to commit to, by then."
    This, babe, kills me.

    Hugs and respects from me.

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  25. You have my respects, Felixia.. Keep it up and don't let anyone bring you down or tell you otherwise..

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  26. Hi Felixia, i was a model also and im wearing hijab for last one n half year ago. I must admitted that i wasnt a practical muslim before. But once God show me the way and enlighthen my heart to learn n being close to religion , thats the moment that i feel im finally found what im looking for the intire of my life. I hope u just enjoy your spiritual journey my dear.. yes, its u who feel it. Be strong. And yes, i will tell everyone proudly... I love my hijab, i feel safe n its liberated me. I really love it until If u want to exchange it with ferrari maybe, I would not take it off ! Hehe.. take care sister. Proud of u. LOVE , ika.

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  27. i hope you get what you SEEK in your life. =)

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  28. I'll pray for your happiness Miss Felixia, and who knows, one day with God's grace you will find the way HOME. =)

    And do take the criticisms with only a pinch of salt, human beings are all different in terms of behaviour, views, etc. As long as you are happy with the way you are now, it's all that matters. Anything more than that is a bonus.

    All the best Miss Felixia!

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  29. Since you've got so many people rooting for you...then there is only one thing I can.....Keep Moving Forward girl...we are an actor/actress acting God's play whether we are the best actor or not it is up to us...our effort to realize the roles we took....be it a minister to even the 'mak cik' cleaner...we have our own sets of roles and play....so if you want to learn more about being a muslimah then you should go to the right source (ahlul sunnah) not Syiah...I pray for you...so that one day you will find your way....

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  31. Hello Felicia. First of all I want to tell you that I just had a girl crush on you because you're damn gorgeous. I must tell you that during this journey you will encounter a lot of people like our brother Luqman up there. To me it's up to you to decide on what you do in life. These people have good intentions but they just have wrong approaches. Being a non muslim who's wearing a hijab that's such a big move to make. You're doing something that I myself am not ready for and let me tell you that reading your blog has just opened my eyes and inspired me. It's a privilege that you've fallen in love with our religion. I wear hijab once in awhile and it's true. When you're covered up you feel at peace and you have a sense of respect towards yourself. I hope you'll find what you seek and don't worry. Whatever you do, either it's right or wrong, there will always be people in the society who would go against it.Thank you so much for posting this wonderful article. And I think you'll look great in Pashmina.

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  32. Full R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Hats off to you Felixia.

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  33. You'll feel safe and peace when you remove all your makeup and cosmetic lenses from now on.

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  34. A religion is not solely dependent on its followers as followers are human which are perfectly imperfect. Just be true to yourself, may you find what you need for this world and hereafter. Peace.

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  35. hye felixiaa..yes women are like diamonds..orang akan tertarik dan akan berebut2 akan sesuatu jika benda itu bernilai..ini akan menyebabkan orang yg anda x ingini pon tetap akn berebut diamond itu..bygkan jika diamond itu diletakkan dlm kotak..xde sape pon yg tau apekah kandungan kotak it?bernilaikah brg didalamnye?so anda sahaja yg boleh menentukan kpd siapa yg awk nk tunjuk diamond itu..org yg trsyg..?supaya org xakan mencuri nya suatu hr nnt..same goes with hijab..kalau awk fhm mksd sy :)btw nice approach u got there..

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  36. Dear Felixia,

    Would you be my makmum.. my wife, my half soul, my part of rib bones as i hope to be your imam and husband for eternity. amin..

    we've met few years before if your remember. :)

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  37. Syukur..berikan dia peluang...tak perlu nak kondem apa2...Islam itu datangnya asing n perginya pon asing..so bila dia dapat soemthing...encourage la dia...mungkin dia akan menjadi uswatun hasanah kepada rakan2 model dia yg lain...kn elok gitu :)
    perempuan itu nilainya tinggi disisi Islam...so berhijab atau cover up ur body memang jalan yg tepat...tq

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  38. Omg u're so coooool! I'm a muslim malay wearing hijab but before I got married, I hv to admit the temptations to look beautiful n appealing were very strong. Yea la kan with all the trends..but I never felt sexy with all the tight clothes..I just wanted to look beautiful hoping I would feel beautiful..but I didn't.

    The day I got married was when I felt it n now I get to be a playboy bunny, wear costumes, be sexy in front of my husband. And the feeling that it's only for him is the sexiest feeling of all. Because it is right and because he appreciates me. Because he loves me.

    So covering up is liberating in that sense for me. Of course, at the end of the day..u hv to do it with clear intention.. for God..lillahitaala, it means for God, ur creator, ur purpose of life. Ur future husband is one lucky guy judging fr ur post..ure beautiful inside n out. I'll pray for u. Hugs!

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  39. RESPECT. It's not about religion yet. but u'll find it somewhere sometime.

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  40. Very2 nice post, and praise be to the one and only God (Alhamdulillaah in arabic) that due to his guidance, you have chosen this path.

    Please do search for the way of life (termed deen in arabic) that suits you. The only prerequisite is that you be sincere and honest in doing so (which I know you already are). InsyaAllaah (God willing), you will find the true path and God WILL guide you when you are seeking for the truth.

    I'm a Muslim, but I know how people hate to be preached upon. I would however like to recommend, if you'd like to go on your way, look into the Abrahamic faiths, and see which ones make sense most to you.

    Its not actually being tied down to any religion.... Its about choosing the one that is the truth. If you allow me to share... Islam is not in essence the NAME of a religion. Its actually an Arabic word that encompasses the meaning of Submit + Surrender + in Sincerity + With Obedience + to obtain Peace from the creator of the heavens and the earth (i.e. the One and only God, or in arabic this god is called Allaah). Same God from the beginning of everything :) Thats why it makes sense when the Quran says its the deen (way of life) of the previous prophets as well (Submission to the one and only God).

    anywayz, I've written too much already. Again, hope you will find your way sister :D Peace be unto You! :D

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  41. felixia, i am proud with u. menutup aurat tak semestinya perlukan seseorang yang beragama islam. even mereka yang beragama islam pun culas dalam menutup aurat. n i am proud with u, again.. :)

    nilai dan maruah seseorang wanita tak semestinya perlu mendedahkan bentuk tubuh badan dan perlu menunjuk-nujuk cantiknya badan dia. tetapi, maruah seseorang wanita tu akan lebih bermakna jika sesuatu yang perlu disembunyi, disembunyikan dan hanya ditunjukkan kepada insan yang layak. u get what i mean rite?

    so, keep it on. jangan ambil kisah dengan kata-kata mereka yang kononnya alim, memberi nasihat tak kena tempat.

    ISLAM is a beautiful religion. but sometimes, it is easily destroyed by the adherents of that religion. :D. so keep on going covering your aurat. moga u akan menjadi role model untuk wanita-wanita diluar sana.

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  43. I agree and respect you for your courage Felixia! I'm a Chinese who converted to Islam. My advice is, trust me, when you do good, there are always people who will not like it. They will do all sorts of thing to make you feel useless and wrong. Stay grounded, most importantly, God knows you better than anyone else, so please Him. To find the truth, refer back to God's words and not human's. God's willing, you will eventually find your way.

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  44. Interesting. and god bless. Just leaves us in wonder, as He creates the context of our every days we live in.

    Dear Sis Felixia, May He provide much happiness & solace on such a journey you have embarked upon. May He shower His blessings of a good life, in this life and hereafter. Amen.

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  45. May God Bless You All the way.... ameeen.

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  46. #Respect!! . and such a nice word to read. be strong dear :)

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  47. May God bless you. I have the utmost respect for you. Alhamdulillah. I hope I too will be on a profound journey such as yours. I can't express the joy that I feel in every bone in my body when I read your post. Love and light!

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  48. Guys, don't push your religion on her. There are good religion with bad people and there are bad religion with good people. In the end, it's not about religion that determines who she is but her inner self who she desires to be. Seek where you feel closest to God.

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    1. yea agree. Bad Religion is a nice band with a nice ppl too..

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  49. Tunpang gembira apa yang saudari rasa bila memakainya...walaupun bukan Islam, tapi ituah perasaan sebenar seorang Muslimah bila memakai hijab..rasa dilindungi, rasa tingginya harga diri..Syabas. Semoga perjalanan saudari Felixia akan menemui Yang Esa...mungkin ini sedikit sebanyak petunjuk untuk saudari ke arah yang lebih baik di mana saudari dapat menilai beza bila berhijab atau tidak...Syabas sekali lagi...Soo Wincci berpuasa penuh dalam Bulan Ramadhan, saudari pula berhijab...Alhamdullillah...kecantikan Islam bukan kerana penganutnya tapi Islam itu sendiri...kebrukan islam bukan pada Agamanya..tapi pada orang yang menganutnya...semoga Allah akan memberi hidayah pada saudari...rahsia itu ada pada saudari..

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  50. Hello Miss Felixia, may God bless you always. I wish you may spend a few minute to read my comment. As a Chinese who embrace Islam at 2008 fasting month.

    Just like the rest Chinese, I raised up in a devoted buddhism family. My parent raise me up to be a responsible person, kind to people and worship gods. I was keen to read so many books that teach me to be a good person, save my next life (to be a more handsome guy) instead of become an animal. As stated in Buddhism teaching.

    However, one day I stand still and ask myself. "What is the meaning of life?"
    Does life mean that I have to fear of the unseen afterlife or just enjoy whatever I have on this earth? The emptiness came into my heart, seeking for more answer and the purpose of I'm living right now.

    Most people feel blank of why there are born, as if no one would question this silly question. "Whatever it is, since we are here so let's have fun!" Nope, that wasn't what I'm thinking about all the time. I believe there is more to our life, the purpose of we are being bring into our lovely family and what kind of commitment we may give to this beautiful world.

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    1. Speaking of god, although I was raised up in buddhism family, few question about god still remain unanswered. Like why there are god for chinese, indian, etc for different skin color people? Why do we have to differ the image of "god" based on our community perception? Do gods so weak that we have to describe how he looks like? This isn't humiliation to any religion but that's the FACT of how people looking at religion.

      Eventually, I become a Muslim who realized there are much detailed description about God in Islam. As stated in al-Quran :

      Say, "He is Allah , [who is] One, Allah , the Eternal Refuge. He neither begets nor is born, Nor is there to Him any equivalent."

      (112: 1-4)

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    2. What's most interesting is, among every religions on earth, only ISLAM persist that God isn't alike any creature on earth because He is Creator upon His Creations. Also, there is only One Creator who manage our huge universe. Our life created as God explained in al-Quran, Muhammad s.a.w. is only messenger who pass His message to mankind as stated :

      And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me.
      I do not want from them any provision, nor do I want them to feed Me.
      Indeed, it is Allah who is the [continual] Provider, the firm possessor of strength.
      And indeed, for those who have wronged is a portion [of punishment] like the portion of their predecessors, so let them not impatiently urge Me.
      And woe to those who have disbelieved from their Day which they are promised.
      (51: 56-60)

      As for wearing Hijab. This is one of the most important teaching in Islam, as stated in al-Quran :

      And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, their brothers' sons, their sisters' sons, their women, that which their right hands possess, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed.
      (24: 31)

      This is so important because woman are preserve in well manner and protect themselves from uneasy eyesight or even danger. (Also misuderstood by the non muslim that hijab is a torture to woman) In fact, Hijab is a self dignity that commands by God to preserve with. Till now this teaching is clearly stated in al-Quran with no doubt.

      Not only make you feel safe, hijab also bring you closer to God, avoid yourself from unnecessary disturbing eyesight. I do hope this sincere comment might help you a bit. If you are free, please visit my blog at lifemualaf.blogspot.com, or email : lifemualaf@gmail.com

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    3. By the way, you may interested in this book :

      From my sister's lips

      Covered from head to toe with only her eyes visible, the sight of a Muslim woman on a western city street rarely fails to provoke a strong reaction. Feelings of shock, horror, repulsion, pity or even fear are not uncommon. But have you ever wondered who it is behind the veil and what makes her tick? Ever wondered what her life is really like and whether her dreams, hopes and aspirations differ from yours? "From My Sisters' Lips" offers a rare glimpse into the lives of a community of women, most of whom are converts to Islam, and invites you to share their joys, sorrows, convictions and faith. When Na'ima B Robert abandoned her western lifestyle and embraced Islam six years ago, it was not a decision taken lightly. Yet soon after she took her first tentative steps towards covering, she felt empowered; no longer judged on physical appearances alone, no longer seeking the approval to feel beautiful - or using her looks to wield power over men - the experience effected her greatly. Before long she grew in confidence and courage. As she says, "Something just clicked." I thought, "Good, don't look; don't compare me with your latest squeeze, don't try and guess my measurements - my body is my own business!"' "From My Sisters' Lips" offers a glimpse into the lives of just some of the extraordinary women who, like herself, have chosen to live behind the veil. What emerges is a vivid and intimate portrait of a sisterhood; as they speak candidly and with conviction on a diverse range of subjects ranging from marriage to motherhood, stereotypes, submission and self-image, we hear the strong, proud voices of those who are seldom heard.

      https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/895743.From_My_Sisters_Lips

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    4. you said "what is the meaning of this life?'.... here is the answer..,

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7d16CpWp-ok

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  51. hi..felix..saya terpegun dan sangt kagum dengan melihat awak berhijab..subhanaAllah (Maha Suci Allah).. org islam bila terpegun akan sentiasa menyebut perkataan ini :)

    saya saja nak share dgn felix youtube ni..sekiranya felix terasa deep inside you theres this beautiful feeling and rasa sebak sgt..i suggest you seek for someone who can help to guide u through.. its almost a 40 min view..insha Allah

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    1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEKgxZbFG_k tertggal pulak link dia.. heee ^_^

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  52. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  53. Dear Felixia,

    Saya doakan moga Allah permudahkan awak dlm mengenal Islam & beri awak kekuatan dlm menghadapi segala dugaan.

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  54. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. Hi Felixia,

      You are spreading a very positive vibes. Keep it up.

      "Kindness is a mark of faith, and whoever is not kind has no faith." (Muslim)

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  55. you look sooo beautiful in hijab. pray for you, may someday you will revert to islam. InsyaAllah :)

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  56. Hope u find the real peace of mind...better reason to live ur life..we are not live in this world forever...

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  57. I pray that you will find the meaning and purpose of your life. There is always time to start over to a new life. Cheers!

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  58. MasyaAllah...the beauty of hijab...i can feel your sincerity in wearing this hijab and also your story...may you find what you're seek in your life one fine day.....InsyaAllah....Islam is welcoming you and others to be with us.... :-)

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  59. Life is a journey. Verily God is the destination. Nice seeing you are wearing something descent. And it s really great that u are dare to seek for the light for the soul.

    Respect!

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  60. Good for you for not conforming to what the general public expects of you! Women are NOT pieces of meat. Never let go of your values, Felixia. This is what I call true beauty and true feminism. Feminism shouldn't be about seeking respect from the opposite sex - rather, it should be about respecting your own self first. I support you wholeheartedly!

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  61. To felixia.

    I thank you for this warm post. I respect your view and i hope you find the best for this life. and to what ever God / religion you believe in to, i hope you find peace.


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  62. I think that as long as there are men out there who maintain Neanderthal thinking and refuse to see women for what they are worth and respect them-- then it doesn't matter what a woman wears. It has been proven that it doesn't matter what women wear -- they can still be subject to degrading thoughts and actions. I respect her decision and I think women should be given the freedom and the choice to wear WHATEVER they want, and they should be respected regardless.

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  63. hye there , such a beautiful story n such a meaningful thought that you have wrote for us.. i hope your story one day will inspire many people in this world.. many mankind that sometime have narrow minded on certain people.. base on their appearence.. but may god bless you.. one thing for sure.. ignore the people who talk behind you.. because that is where their belong.. behind you.. n make you famous. :)

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  64. With Hijab......you look.....very very EXPENSIVE........

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  65. There are still things that are missing and you are still searching the answer for something. I really hope you will found the right person that will guide you to the right path. I really do.

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  66. Honestly..i shred my tears when reading on this entry...
    I just want say good luck to you on your way in finding the true meaning of life.
    Keep it up..ignore the negative and stay in positive way of life!

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  67. You've just earned my respect.

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  68. oh dear sooo touch dengan cerita youu,seriously u make me proud of u.
    how i wish to be ur friend .i do even i muslim ,there alot things i hve to learn being good.thnks alot u inspiring me:)

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  69. May you attain your serenity both in this world and the Hereafter, may Allah guide you to the right path...inspiring indeed.

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  70. I'm a "aspiring" film maker and I actually came up with a hijab story that is very similar to your story, the difference is the main character is a singer. When I read your story I was astonished by the similarity.

    Anyway, just wanted to give a thumbs up on your decision to be a more modest and religious person. My advice is to ask guidance from God, whoever you believe him to be. I'm pretty sure He will guide you to the right path. You will know it when you feel it, regardless whether it is Budhism, Christianity or Islam or even no religion.

    In the end, ONLY GOD guides, not people.

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  71. Diamonds are not to be shown but to be kept because its too precious. May Allah be with you felixia.

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  72. Dear Felixia Yeap. things will be fall into space, and things do turn into shape. if you're not ready to be a muslim. its ok to take baby steps. for that what ever you do makes you happy is what really important. and you are always welcome to be a muslim. i just honestly think you are both beautiful still on the outside and on the inside. insyaallah. :)

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  73. Darling sister, you are just change yourself from caterpillar into butterfly...may Allah guide you
    All the way..amin

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  74. Dear sis, dont look for muslim to learn about islam. Muslim is everywhere but good muslim, u hv to search. Learn to read quran n refer to islamic speaker, dr zakir naik, yusof islam, etc to know more about one God, the Only, Al mighty that will answer to your emptiness and insecurity...u will feel safer via hijab...and there is a lot more to discover. May Allah swt guide u to the right path. U will feel better just after u hv removed your previous photo......

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  75. I believe Hijab is just a form of traditional attire, like wearing a Cheongsam doesn't really mean you're Taoist and wearing Kimono doesn't make you a Shinto believer. It is more culturally linked than religiously. Ignore what others try to impose on you and just be yourself! Don't give in to male objectivity or religious obligation, you don't owe anybody an explanation. Just God alone :) No haters! Peace!

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  76. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  77. Tears were actually rolling down my cheeks when I read your story .... So moved by it!!! You're so much stronger than most Muslims I know. You certainly have my admiration and respect.

    May you find the peace and happiness that you're looking for!! InsyAllah!!

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    1. Check out this song :)

      http://youtu.be/BJ63206KaSo

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  78. Felixia, I am happy you've experienced what the rest of us feel when we are covering up properly. we feel liberated, appreciated, secure etc. For me, it is more than just merely a dress, its a sense of closeness. closeness to whom? you will find the answer if you keep seeking :) and let nobody force you in any decision you make later on in life

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  79. I like your style.. I followed your every post. And it is very relieving to finally find my idol come to the Hijab way, I'm sure U're a Moslem. Even I am Christian and From Indonesia, I respect you to hold your belief tightly.. I hope that some day we can be friends and exchange our experience. I'm rooting for you Fel, Hope you will be always strong to be in your current way. :)

    Regards,
    William, one of your Fans

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  80. Dear Felixia, you have found one part of being a muslim girl...the inner soul wanting your body to be covered, protected & feel safe, not as an object for others to see...this is the same reasons islam wantd their women to be covered...

    In a way, there will be many things & instances in life that you would longed, search for reasons & answers, confused...and when that happens...my suggestions is, try to search for Alquran or just search some reputable islamic scholars like zakir naik, mufti menk and others that may enlighten you to theway of life god has set for it's creations.

    There is no obligation for u to practice Islam, just getting some knowledge & references to live brings no harm, but InsyaAllah you will discover more about yourself, god & life when go deeper into reading the Quran..

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  81. Yahdikumullah sister. The followers of a religion are not perfect so please ignore those ignorants. Focus on the source of the religion. :)

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  82. I found your story on my FB page this morning and I decided to see what the fuss is about. AND it is exactly what I I found, a fuss over something that is so simple and personal. So, you like wearing the hijab and you look nice wearing it. Good for you. Some of these people need to get a life and some knowledge. Yes, it is a religious obligation for Muslims women to wear the hijab (some say the burkah and purdah, but that is debatable) but the head covering is not a strictly Muslims thing. It is also an obligation in other religions for example in Christianity. Have a a look in the Bible,
    "For a man ought not to have his head covered, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man." (1 Cor 11:7)
    "Therefore the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels." (1 Cor 11:10)
    "Judge for yourselves: is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? Does not even nature itself teach you..." (1 Cor 11:13-14)
    So, I'd just like to say it again that you do look nice in the head gear. By the way, I am a Muslim.

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  83. Semoga apa pon pilihan Miss Felixia, saya harap anda akan terus menemui kebahagiaan dalam hati... =)

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  84. Kenapa pulak tak boleh nk pakai bju kurung. Malah org melayu suka tgk org cina ke India ke pakai baju melayu. Kita ni nama je senegara tp tetap kalau cina dgn cina,melayu dgn melayu,India dgn India. Yg kdg2 kalau org melayu marah if permainkan agama islam. Tp awak xkan. So kami suka tgk org cina xpakai seksi. Ala,abaikan je org yg xsuka or maki awak kalau tutup body. Tapikan just want to share, in islam, if sesuatu pekerjaan itu dari hasil yang x halal, hasil yang kita dapat tu jugak adalah dari hasil yang x halal walaupun niat kita adalah baik. Sy rs awk ikhlas pakai pakaian tutup aurat. Cubalah lagi menutup aurat awak tu lg ye. Insyaallah kalau awk ikhlas nk tutup body dr dilihat lelaki,akan ada jln terbaik awak akan jumpa :) xder sapa yg xsuka pd perubahan yg baik melainkan org yg merasakan diri dia x cukup,maka org mcm tu dia akan rasa dengki pada perubahan baik seseorang itu,

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  85. You go girl.. I will always be there for u.. u look nice on hijab.. seriousss..much prettier..

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  86. If you want to know the answer, why you become like this, please do read the translations of Al-Quran. Allah will answer you whatever you ask or query in your hearts. Insya Allah. Now even in android application, got Al-quran in English translations. Try to read it. You will find it.

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  87. Hidayah come from Allah......All the best to you. Cheerio

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  88. I am not perfect but ISLAM is PERFECT..
    If its my mistake blame it on me..
    NOT my RELIGION.. :)
    Keep searching if that's make you satisfied in finding the true love and peace..
    Compare if you need to compare..
    Ask if need to ask..
    The answer is always inside the Al-Quran..
    An-Nisa is the verse that is special for women..
    Inside is the answer why ALLAH loves and protect women..
    There's more you'll find in ur search.. :)
    Fi Hifzillah..

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  89. Hi Miss Felixia,
    I'm praying for you for the best of your life. As God has brighten your heart to get closer to Islam and slowly embracing its practice for your good. Insya-Allah, Allah will open up your heart, and He will choose you for His heaven.

    I hope a very good man will take care of you, guide and protect you as you wish, for the sake of your life and the hereafter.

    Ameen.

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  90. Hi Miss Felicia, you look stunning in Muslimah attire! Cantik dan sejuk mata memandang. Malu sy sebagai Muslim as you could see the truth behind covering your aurah but not Muslims itself. Ignore the haters as haters gonna hate. You have inspired lots of people out there. May Allah protect you. ^_^

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  91. I adore the change and wish her happiness and respect in life. Which is the main reason hijab is introduced in Islam.
    I wish I could meet her and support her in embracing Islam in the real form by understanding its roots.

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  92. Dear Felixia,

    Hope you find the right guided path... Try to read this website and take your time to ponder...

    Searching for Happiness
    http://invitation2islaam.abdurrahman.org/2011/05/30/searching-for-happiness-a-call-to-non-muslims/

    Regards,

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  93. subhanallah.. terharu sungguh saat membaca.. semoga Allah memberi hidayah islam untuk kamu nanti.. amin, ya rabb.. :')

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  94. i think muslim should read this confession. popularity doesnt always endup with happy life but consciousness to religion and purpose of life in shaa Allah will help you to be a better person. better late then never

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  95. felixia, hope you will find a true beauty inside a beautiful religion.

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  96. You look just great wearing those hijab...keep it up, hope that one day you will find what you are looking for... :)

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  97. Felixia,
    Hope all will be well for you.
    Most importantly find it in yourself the path that is right for you. And do it right in Gods eyes.
    God Bless

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  98. look beautiful in hijab...keep it up..i will support you...

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  99. Assalamualaikum and Hi Felixia.

    You look so stunning with the hijab and very up to date with the style which impress me as well as coverage of the hijab.
    Hope you find what you looking for.

    Take care dear

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  100. I've to say, such a big transition from Playboy Bunny gal to Hijab covered lady. You've made it easier for other people to see that Islam is THE way of life and not just believing in God, Prophet, Mosque and Mecca. There are many other Islamic ways that non-muslim could follow. It encompasses crucial matters such as Islamic banking, trading, will, law & governnce, politics, choosing a leader, to small things like charitable acts, butchery, sleeping, eating, drinking, entering toilet, cleaning yourselves, visiting friends. The list can go on and on. My point is, we Muslim should know better, and for the non Muslim you are very much welcome to adapt the values in your daily live ,

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  101. woman! you rock my socks! keep the love alive :) Big hugs!

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  102. Gud luck sis, hope you're one of 'em ..

    Narrated Abu Sa‘îd Al-Khudri Allah’s Messenger said, “If a person embraces Islam sincerely, then Allah shall forgive all his past sins, and after that starts the settlement of accounts: the reward of his good deeds will be ten times to seven hundred times for each good deed, and an evil deed will be recorded as it is unless Allah forgives it.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari, Vol.1, Hadith No. 40A).

    About the rewards, it applies also for those who are steadfast on their religion. Narrated Abu Hurairah Allah’s Messenger said: “If any one of you improves (follows strictly) his Islamic religion, then his good deeds will be rewarded ten times to seven hundred times for each good deed and a bad deed will be recorded as it is.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari, Vol.1, Hadith No. 40B).

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  103. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  104. Dear Sis, u r most welcome in Islam. We r brothers and sisters in Islam. We will always support u in anyhow. may Allah guide ur way. For that , u can look for Dr Zakir Naik, Firdaus Wong Wai Hung and many more Islamic scholars in and outside Malaysia. Also the celebrity Sheahnee Iman Lee
    I dedicate the song FREE from Sami Yusuf to u.
    Today u earn my respect love :-)

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  105. yes...go for Dr Zakir Naik youtube. You will learn something there. i always when i watch it because i know where i am now. Maybe im bad than you.

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  106. i almost cry when reading this entri.. i'm very happy for u.

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  107. Gud luck and thanks for respect islam..
    Semoge Allah memberi Hidayah buat mu :)

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  108. proud of you...

    A true religion will give you a true style of living...

    (^-^)

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  109. In oneself lies the whole world and if you know how to look and learn, the door is there and the key is in your hand. Nobody on earth can give you either the key or the door to open, except yourself
    #gud luck

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  110. i am a tough guy. But your postiing touched the deepest of my heart. Sis, i wish you all the best in your quest. It's tough but those who seek will find and be found :)

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  111. The author learns her lesson already. The real lesson is for the reader actually. She is promoting hijab in a way.

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  112. Hi felixia. I hope my little effort here helps you in your journey. If not the post, then the links will do I hope...Take care :)

    http://jomislam.wordpress.com

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  113. proud of you !! I want to cry !! huhu .. hope you will be my sister in Islam !! ^_^ Islam is Peaceful ..

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  114. Whichever path you choose, I hope you find peace, solace and happiness, always.

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  115. Semoga Allah tunjukkan jalan yang benar kpd kamu dan bukannya jalan yang patut.

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  116. http://www.google.com.my/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CC0QtwIwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D7d16CpWp-ok&ei=tkWnUqbIIY6Tigf3s4HgBw&usg=AFQjCNFLOzevTa1kDXM89NMqaeIkGHAlqw
    Sister,I do really hope u watch this video.. it help.. a lot.. in understanding the meaning of life. =)

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  117. May Allah show you the Truth and the right path sister.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wdhk2y6zFg4&list=TLS9Q3FOcs7uTmwu4VkCAqFP0ppPu2KhcG

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  118. i am inspired...keep searching, keep it this way or better..and maybe u will find something that u treasure for the rest of ur life..InshaAllah.

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  119. So inspiring! I hope God will give u guidance and give u a loving husband who can guide u in this life and also the hereafter. I feel sympathy for u that u got played by men coz no women deserve that. Hopefully..the closer u are to the truth..God would give u what u need coz sometimes what we want is not necessarily the best for us. Good luck in your journey...brought tears to my eyes. That's the beautu of hijab and modest clothings in Islam. It is suppose to protect u and liberate u in a way the haters of it can't understand. :)

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  120. Nothing much I can say, hijab can protect you, and make you much more comfort.

    One of the reason Islam came because of to protect womens pride and rights. Later on you will know why.

    "I believe I am more worthy than showing off my body.", Exactly, cos Chanel in glass much more expensive than the outside, and people will look on it more than in the rack. (Am I right?). hehehe

    Syabas betty...syabas...eh...Felixia...

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  121. keep wearing it..cover urself..and when the times has come you will know it your self...InsyaAllah...

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  122. Fom my wife,ita - hi Felixia. One of friends showed me your blog. After read all your stories, I do feel I need to say something.

    I am a muslim but yet wearing hijab (hopefully very soon.....) But coming to my age of 37, I feel like life if no longer about hu ha,, hanky panky, bla,bla.......there is a purpose why life is created, the question of where we come from, what will be our next destination after this life.......all this questions can only be found in Islam.......kajilah mana-mana agama pun, you will not find any perfect answer from any the other religion.........except ISLAM........and once you do understand it completely that is what we call Hidayah..........

    Please dont just learn about wearing hijab, but please also learn about Islam in a correct way, guided by books & also ustaz/ustazah.... because ilmu yang betul bukan hanya semata dari buku, bukan hanya semata dari guru, it must by both, baru kita tak tersesat,,,,

    And as for myself, I sedang belajar membersihkan hati I yang kotor, for my opinion it should be the start with something which is hati yang bersih........and I am thanking Allah for the bless that knowing now, the more I try to understand betapa hebatnya islam, hebatnya segala perintah Allah & Nabi Muhammad s.a.w, Insha Allah you will find the inner peace......this one you cant buy from any store, you need to own it....

    and once you do, money, diamonds, bags, big house, fame will not fascinate you any more....The harder you try to impress people, the tougher you need to become, but even a little thing you do to impress Allah, the better person you will become........HEBAT.......Allah will never reject those who look for Allah.....

    I hope if one day you get the Hidayah & embrace Islam, I hope it is not because you wan to marry a Muslim, but because you really find the truth in Islam....

    Ramai orang berhijab, lahir sebagai orang Islam tapi tidak mahu belajar memahami Islam itu sendiri....kasihan....I do hope that I will not waste my life that Allah is giving me by not following perintah Allah...please pray that I will wear Hijab seikhlas hati.......

    Hati yang bersih ialah hati yang sentiasa basah mengingati Allah...

    Maybe you can start with listening to stories of those who have convert to Islam, listen how do they feel before & after convert to Islam, listen to Radio IKIM fm, maybe...every Thursday & Friday, you can hear a lot of interesting stories......

    Sorry for saying these too long in your blog...but these words come sincerely from my heart, and I do really care about how you feel honestly, even I may not your good friend....

    Have a better way of life Felixia, I pray for you to find the inner peace, dunia & akhirat.....amin...

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  123. Islam is a protecting religion. Protects women, men, children, and even flora and fauna. Dig some more, my friend. You'll find the real happiness in life. InsyaAllah.

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  124. Well done girl! You finally realize what a women really worth. May god help you find what you are seeking for.

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  125. Whatever we do good or bad people will always have something negative to say. personally i am glad to know you

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  126. Hi Felixia, I'm just wanna say that just keep looking for what you been missing in your life. No matter what your haters or other people said about you, it is only you who know yourself more than anyone. And don't give up. That's answer is waiting for you. Good luck.

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  127. insha allah one day you will find what you are seeking :)

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  128. you have a good expression and great understanding for human need which is after they got everything but then, they realized to fill the need of after death... so stay in these mood, then you will find a truth way

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  129. Hi Felixia.

    Please Welcome!

    Here is one story for best analogy to comprehend you more why women wearing hijab.

    “A man asked a Muslim man: Why do your women cover their bodies and their hair?

    The Muslim man smiled and took two sweets, he opened one and kept the other closed. He threw them both on the dirty floor and then asked:

    If I asked you to take one of the sweets, which one would you choose?

    The man replied: The covered one.

    Then the Muslim man said: That’s how we see and treat our women.” (Author unknown)

    All the best!

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  130. Kagum dengan apa yang Miss lakukan demi kehidupan yang lebih bermakna.. All the best :)

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  131. omg omg omg. u're so beautiful when wearing hijab ;) *HUG*

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  132. Sometimes, I wish I want to befriend with you and go along with you. I really mean it. You are such a good person who wants to try to be a better person. You're adorable and brave girl ! :)

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  133. Beautiful. So inspiring..InsyaAllah, one day you will find what you are seeking in your life. =)

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  134. Allah chooses whoever Allah wishes to be given the light, the path to righteous in life. Maybe the yearning to cover your body is one of the ways? I wouldn't know for i am just a normal person like you. But, you should try to learn Islam. At your own pace. I wish you well and find whatever you are searching for in this life on earth.

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  135. I personally respect you for being so open about how you love wearing Malay clothings, and also how you wish to be respected for who you truly are. It does not matter, in my opinion of what other people may think of you! I couldn't agree more with your statement and please know that there are many people out here who will definitely support you! May God guide you the righteous path :)

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  136. Thank God. I would marry you for the change.... keep it up girl

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  137. 47: Muhammad:[17]

    Dan (sebaliknya) orang-orang yang menerima petunjuk (ke jalan yang benar), Allah menambahi mereka dengan hidayah petunjuk, serta memberi kepada mereka (dorongan) untuk mereka bertaqwa.

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  139. in fact, I use google translate to read your blog and to comment this already use google translate well. but I wish to congratulate you for getting guidance from god. I pray the best for you. How about you try the costume that Princess Padme Amidala Bodyguard use in Star War;Episode 1..The Phantom Menace..try and find out that costume. seriously,that costume more polite than Muslim girl wearing this day.this is the linkhttp://www.rebelshaven.com/SWFFAQ/images/flame/flame12.jpg
    http://static1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111001152829/starwars/images/7/7a/Sabeandpadmeaccentsgalore.JPG

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  140. May God gives you strength and guides you to the right path. I'm more than happy to help you in any way possible and i'm very proud of you. Cover your body and protect your modesty, and we all love you.

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  141. bak kata Ustaz Abdullah Khairi... "Hidayah itu milik Allah".

    *Jom jenguk blog saya.
    http://vitaminformeandyou.blogspot.com/

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  142. You're beautiful Felixia... inside and outside... wish you success and happiness in this world and the world after... ~ :)

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  143. Teruskan berubah miss Felixia...InsyaaAllah...hidayah Allah akan sampai juga...you can do it!!.. we Malaysian Muslim support you..

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  144. Dear God, may you bless Miss Felixia and show her the right path. InsyaAllah. Amin.

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  145. Wow. You're a beauty inside out. Total respect for you, girl.
    Anyway, if you're thinking of going deeper into you know, self-reflection and finding yourself,
    have a try at YASMIN MOGAHED bestselling book, Reclaim Your Heart.
    You can buy it online, you know. It's a really good book that makes you ponder about life and things that revolves around you. I gave a copy to my non-muslim Korean friend once, and she loved it. Best wishes!

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  146. Alhamdulillah Sister. May Allah protect and save you, InShaAllah.
    Here is some good reference of the great Dr Zakir Naik speech that i supposed, answer some of our question in this life (meaning of life / purpose of life- etc etc).
    although this kind of religious talk / q&a (especially when non-Muslim is questioning about Islam!) is seems taboo in our country, but that's where the mistake was!
    - Do please watch Dr. Zakir Naik answering questions from the non Muslim brother and sister with full of respect and very hikmah


    Zakir Naik Q&A - Hijab isn't it not degrading for women to prioritize :
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lB0rlZMOTI8&feature=youtube_gdata_player

    Q&A Dr Zakir Naik - Where did Jesus made his mistake
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLdBDxusio4&feature=youtube_gdata_player

    Purpose of life :
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ye-xFLdkUQ4&feature=youtube_gdata_player

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  147. u know what felixia. the thing that you've been longing for in this life...its called PEACE n u finally found it when u covered urself

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  148. Do you believe Allah is god. The only god. And muhammad is his messenger? If yes.. U r a muslim... Thats all..

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  149. Salam ukhwah untuk anda...just jumped to your blog after reading the hot topic coverage in bharian...then i scroll down n i noticed that - oohh she is the 1 that i had read in my fb fren timeline..

    Reading this post make my tears fall, its something touch me in your writing. Feeling bless that Allah give u some 'Nur' to slowly changes..

    I wish u dear, may The Almighty will guide u with the right path with the right person.

    U look so beautiful with the hijab and attire...yups true people will covering dress/attire actually more priceless like a sweet... :)

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  150. Semoga anda berbahagia dgn mana2 jalan & kepercayaan yg anda pilih. I'll pray for your hapiness. And may u will filnd the truth. Its a small present that i can do for you

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  151. Dan ketika orang lain menyarankan anda untuk mengebumikan mimpi anda, langitkanlah langkah anda! Mimpi anda terlalu berharga untuk dikecilkan. Ketika mimpi hadir di fikiran anda, ia selalu memiliki ruang untuk diwujudkan dalam kehidupan.

    Salam perkenalan..untuk anda semua

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  152. May peace be with you sister. I was just wondering if you were interested to know a little bit more about islam? If you are, there is a place in Kampung Kayu Ara behind Damansara Jaya named Al Khaadem. It is owned and run by Sheikh Hussain Yee, a Chinese man who became muslim in 1968. His centre is all about educating not yet muslims, new muslims, and even old muslims who have lost their faith. If you are at all interested, you can check them out at http://www.al-khaadem.com.my. They have weekly talks on Saturdays and Sundays, at 11am -1pm every week (except next weekend 21/12). The talks are in english. Should you make your way over there on any of these days, do look me up. My name is Farha.

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  153. great,,i,m gonna fall in luv wth ur new outgoing..nice keep it up.may god show u the right way.

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